From Patchouli
by CrazyGadget466
Summary: On one of Marisa's "trips" to the Scarlet Devil Mansion's Library, she comes across a book the likes of which she'd never expect from Patchouli... and Patchy resents the occurrence all the same.


**So, this is going to be my first fiction. I do have essential skill at this, but I trust I'm nowhere near as good as I could be yet. Just in case you need any familiarization with the characters, here's some info about them, in decreasing importance to this story.**

**Marisa Kirisame: An "ordinary magician" who fights with quite the force and exploitation of faults. Despite this, she's actually pretty hard-working, though she doesn't like to disclose this. The characteristic essential here is that she's also a thief on occasion; sometimes, for example, she'll pilfer a book or two from the Scarlet Devil Mansion's Library, which pretty much drives this entire story.**

**Patchouli Knowledge: A girl who spends most of her life in the aforementioned Voile Magic Library, centrally because she has medical issues-she's an asthmatic and anemic, the poor thing. Still, she doesn't really mind it, and there are advantages to being wrapped in books most of the time. She's excellent in magic regarding the elements.**

**Reimu Hakurei: If you don't know this girl, you don't know Touhou. She is the maiden of the Hakurei Shrine, and, even though she usually does nothing but laze around except for the occasional incident, she is to watch over the Great Hakurei Barrier meant to seclude Gensokyo from the outside world and who may or may not come through it.**

**Alice Margatroid: She has masterful control over dolls - this puppeteer can control so many at once, it's insane. Although one she holds dear is Shanghai, who is her companion at most times. You can about guarantee she won't be sacrificed like so many others in Alice's spell cards and such. She has a like/hate relationship with Marisa (whether you want to think of it as _that_ kind of relationship or not is up to you) often fluctuated by incidents that will ultimately involve the two.**

**(Remilia Scarlet and Sakuya Izayoi are the mistress and chief maid, respectively, of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but they're only in the last part, so I really won't go much into detail with them.)**

**And here we go!**

* * *

Scene 1: A Tender Secret

* * *

In this usage of Marisa's free time, she was off to steal a book or two from Patchouli's Magic Library. This wouldn't be some ordinary occurrence when she got her loot, though. Little did she know, the regular owner of that loot was about to walk in on her.

"Ah, Marisa..." Marisa didn't even jump or worry she was found out, since they generally looked the other way. Generally. "Helping yourself to my library again, I see?" Patchouli asked.

"I'm not here for many, Patchy; I just grabbed five at random. It can be a nice little system sometimes." She started to look through what she acquired by putting each one down. "Let's see here... 'Metal Manipulation - Advanced...' 'The Perfect Cleaning - Guide for Master Maids...'"

"We had let Sakuya rummage through that one when she was just getting good," Patchouli explained. "The knives are still her own thing, though."

"'Engulfed in Flame - Secret to the Royal Flare...' Ooh, if I could learn this!" Marisa continued.

Patchouli again interrupted. "You can't straightaway. Royal Flare is the ultimate fire spell. Before that, you need to learn most basic, intermediate, and even advanced-"

Marisa waved her hand. "It already seems like too much work."

"Oh, it is. Trust me." Patchouli chuckled, tossing a wink.

She came to the fourth book, which, except for the deep violet cover, seemed almost blank. Yet, despite its cover, Patchouli's dreary eyes widened just slightly. "What's with this book?" Marisa asked. "It's blank-except for... Are those red hearts on the spine?"

Patchouli scratched her head. "How should I know? It's been an eternity since I've gone through all these!"

Marisa got wary. She observed how "Patchy" suddenly began to act. A girl often so serene and gloomy beginning to prove visibly nervous? Then, she grinned, waving it in front of her. "Somethin's in this book, Patchy. What's the deal?"

Patchouli shrugged. Oh, come on! Her, shrug in ignorance? Now Marisa knew something was up. But she would either A) get Patchy to fess up, or B) read up on what she wanted to know. She flipped the, oh, 150, 200 page book to a random one and placed her finger on the first paragraph. "Riku caressed Miyuki's bare, now-billowing chest," Marisa read aloud to Patchy's disbelief, "and... Whoa, ho, ho, ho!" I probably shouldn't disclose what was after that outside of a quote..

"All right, that's enough!" Patchouli dashed forward and snagged the book from Marisa's grasp. She was blushing as furiously as she felt.

"Ooooh, Patchouli~!" Marisa mewed, smiling openly all the while."I expected books of magic, skills, even fantasy stories. But erotica?!"

"Shut up, shut up!"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Marisa pressed on. "That didn't look printed. Awwwwwh~~! Did you write that?!"

"I repeat, shut up..." Patchouli held her head.

"Where'd you get Miyuki from, Lucky Star?"

"That's a coincidence, alright?! I don't squander my time with television or... Okay, I own a manga or two, but I swear it wasn't that Miyuki! If you'd look at the _inside_ cover..." Patchouli was scrambling for sense.

Marisa shook her head, chuckling. "What do you know? Behind that sullen, elemental exterior is a big, ol' perv!" She poked Patchouli's chest only for her hand to be swatted away.

Patchouli became extremely serious. "For one, don't do that again. Now, this..." She pointed at her private novella. "...doesn't, leave, here. The content doesn't, leave, here. Even the _**idea**_ doesn't leave here. If it does, Sakuya and the mistress-and goodness forbid, her little sister-will eventually hear of it, and _I'll_ never hear the end! Do you hear me?"

Marisa was taken aback from this sudden display of stern fortitude. "Okay, I won't blab, all right?" she assured, actually being serious.

"Good." Patchouli eased up. "Now, I really don't care about the other books, go take them... if you can handle the Royal Flare one. But I'll need the cleaning book if we do hire a new maid."

"All righty!" Marisa began to fly away with the loot, not including Patchy's story.

"Remember, tell nobody!" Patchouli yelled after, given a thumbs up in response.

Patchouli didn't trust Marisa for a second.

* * *

Scene 2: Talking Table of Contents

* * *

After a while, Marisa decided to pop over at the Hakurei Shrine to visit her favorite shrine maiden."Hey, Reimu!" She greeted with a wave.

"Oh, hi." Reimu was laying around as usual when Marisa stopped by. "I'll make tea."

"No need, not thirsty," Marisa held up. "You ever hear about Riku and Miyuki?"

Reimu gave her an odd look. "No..."

"I knew it! That finalizes it was original!" Marisa jumped up in success.

"Finalizes wh-Marisa, you're acting even stranger than usual. What's going on?" Reimu interrogated.

Marisa took a deep breath. "Patchouli told me not to tell you, so if you seriously want me to, it can't leave here! You can keep a secret, right?"

"I can do so very well. Now, what-"

"Patchy-wrote-an-erotic-story," she blabbed, quietly. Reimu tilted her head in disbelief.

"...You're kidding. Patchouli? Our Patchouli? The Patchouli that focuses on nothing but magic, reading, and sleep?"

Marisa nodded in a smile.

"No way..."

"Mm-hmm. But she did get angry when I found it out."

"How did you find out?" Reimu asked.

"I was on another round of stealing books when Patchy came along, and I asked what a blankly-purple-covered one was doing there, and one thing led to another."

"Do you remember what was in it?" Reimu asked, now quite into the gossip.

"I do, but I'd rather not bring it back up." Marisa waved her hand in dismissal.

"That bad, huh?"

"No... Well, kinda. ...Oh, I'll just spill!" Marisa gestured for Reimu to get close so she could whisper it into her ear. " '_Entranced by the effects of his spell and no longer able to hold himself back, Riku caressed Miyuki's bare, now-billowing chest and dived his face inbetween the massive mounds for a motorboat, hopefully distracting her enough to see just how long Miyuki would go without noticing Riku had thrusted his excited- -'_ "

Reimu jumped up. "Okay, I'm done!" She put her hands up, noping constantly, surrendering, feeling if she heard any more, it'd be permanently shaved into her mind. Marisa was cracking up over the extreme reaction as Reimu kept on.

As it calmed down, Marisa was suddenly very serious. "Look. If this gets out, or if Patchouli discovers I told you, she will KILL me. And I don't think I can take an enraged Royal Flare. Please, please, _pleeease,_" she begged, "don't let this get out! Okay?"

Reimu almost took a touch of pity on Marisa. "I won't tell a soul, heart, ghost, or youkai. And personally, I really don't think I want to even think about this ever again, so you know you can trust me!"

Marisa put forward her pinky and smiled, lighting up. "Promise?"

"Eh? You're not one for pinky promises," Reimu pointed out.

"Oh, please, just give me this."

"...Fine. Promise." Reimu's pinky tangled with Marisa's in a promise. They both even lit it up with cyan and pink to signify it. They just about never did this, so one can grasp how meaningful this is.

"We act too childish at times..." Reimu sighed. Then, Marisa left for home.

* * *

Scene 3: Robbery, But With a Purpose

* * *

You know how Marisa is. She just couldn't leave well enough alone. Night fell on Gensokyo, and she just couldn't get that story out of her mind. She "borrowed" a black cloak from a certain puppeteer's place and headed back for the Scarlet Devil Mansion for unfinished business.

She swooped a ways past Hong Meiling, the black cloak not doing too bad a job of concealing her in the night. She just had to try to stay away from the moon. Finally, she snuck her way into the library of the Mansion, keeping the cloak covering all but her face.

Patchouli had finally dozed off with a book over her head in the dim darkness and silence. Hell, Marisa could sleep there in thirty seconds if she tried right then. She tested out how gone Patchy was by getting a little closer to her and letting loose a "Psst!"

...Not the littlest stir, but gosh knows she'd jump on those slippered feet and hunt Marisa down if she heard a book fall. She'd have to be quieter and more careful than she very often was to keep her this way. Marisa remembered where she found that work of perversion and checked there. Nothing. Then, figuring Patchy might have moved it, she tried searching book after book, shelf after shelf, aisle after aisle! She must have spent an hour or two looking, but not a single book had that familiar purple, hearted cover. Maybe it was the level of darkness over the place...

Then it hit her. She probably would have upped the security on it if it could be found to avoid another encounter like the one hardly twelve hours ago. She squinted in the darkness of that familiar shelf, even worse than if Rumia had made the room her playground. Then, she saw what appeared to be a loose board on the shelf's making. She tried tapping it, making sure not to make too much noise with it in case the magic lion was to detect it. Pretty hollow. "_Jackpot,_" she whispered, wincing after Patchouli yawned. She was cutting it close. Then, after moving any obstructing books to the very top of the aisle, she dug her nails into the crack in the wood, getting it to move. She could remove the panel, and in it was that book.

She took it out, inspecting it closely to see if it was the real deal. Purple cover, no writing on it, and on the spine were three red hearts. Marisa cheered in her mind and put the other books back where she found them.

...A particularly heavy book with the earth sign and earthly images slipped from Marisa's grasp, and she had too little time to recover. The book hit the ground with a thud, and Marisa knew to charge the hell outta there - a wise move, as Patchouli jumped awake with a start to find the culprit. Then, Marisa realized, too little, too late...

She didn't shut the panel back.

* * *

Scene 4: Pulling the Strings (Out)

* * *

She went back home with at least peace of mind regarding the book, but now she had a new issue to worry about. Would Patchy find her out? Well, she had left a pretty obvious clue. All she'd have to do is float up to put the book back, and there the empty space would be. Course, she could always hope Patchy wasn't exactly getting enough vitamin A... She would be out gathering potential ingredients for whatever she might conjure up, but she was on a break, as what she was going for would need a few minutes to stew. In this break, she had removed her witch's hat and was finally reading that erotic wonder from the beginning, realizing after she turned the front cover over that on the inside were the two main characters, Riku and Miyuki, blushing under the title, "Quite the Forward Hikikomori". It was actually pretty well-written, and the occasional illustration wasn't too bad either. This couldn't be the only one Patchy ever wrote.

What Marisa, who was so caught up in this story, failed to recall, was that Alice usually came in around this time of night, as she did today. "Hello, swindler," she greeted, so casually as if she always did-she may as well have.

Marisa looked up for a split second and noticed her. "Oh, hey, Alice," she mumbled, then she grabbed that black cloak and tossed it to her at a moment's notice. Shanghai acted quickly enough to catch it for her, it completely covering her and then some so she looked like a dark ghost.

"Seems interesting." Alice noticed the violet novella before Marisa and walked up to get a better view. Marisa immediately reacted before she could even see a word, tilting it towards her, and the reaction roused Alice's suspicions a little as Shanghai was courteous enough to put the cloak on her. Thing is, for how far she'd gotten, that novella was rather...exciting to Marisa. She didn't exactly want to be ripped out of the fantasy, but she didn't want Alice joining in it either.

"So, what exactly is that?"

"A secret," Marisa warded off.

"Oh, really?" Alice cooed, a bit sly. Marisa looked into her eyes, ever focused, until in a split second, Shanghai came from behind and tossed the cloak onto her so she couldn't look into or at anything.

Alice acted quickly, and after giving a grin to Shanghai and right before Marisa could flip out, she snagged the book right from her. Marisa dove forward, but Alice only sidestepped and let her fall to the ground. When Marisa got smart enough to pull the cloak off, Shanghai was there, holding her in place with what was probably a few Hourai Dolls's ropes tied together. She struggled as Alice flipped the cover. "Quite the Forward Hikikomori, huh? Who'd you get this from?" she asked, quite curious.

"I can't say!" Marisa strained. "I only get one tell cause of the general rule of secret-keeping, and I already used it on Reimu!"

"Ah, so it _is_ someone else's..." Alice began flipping through, looking at the pictures inside without even bothering with the words. While Marisa blushed increasingly, she watched them get more and more... provocative until, after seeing a certain one, she promptly shut that thing and tossed it behind her.

Marisa broke free from Shanghai's surprisingly strong hold and grabbed it right before she hit the floor. She gazed at Alice's stunned expression, and she was blushing as red as her headband, really wanting to go do something she probably would've if not for being in another's house.

"Well... That was...colorful."

Marisa sighed deeply, knowing no way to avoid it. "If you still wanna know who wrote it, look on the first page you see inside the back cover." She handed it to Alice, and just as she would find her answer, both girls realized they didn't have to look any farther.

Because the answer broke down the door with what seemed surprisingly like that one Metal/Earth Sign.

Patchouli was there, panting powerfully. Even if the air was messing with her asthma, it didn't take anything from the seething rage she practically emitted. Alice looked in the cover for the hell of it. Yep, it was Patchouli, all right.

She put her hand out in an orange, searing glow. "Why... did you... just have... to do something? You really... couldn't... leave it... alone?"

Shanghai bolted out with Alice's cloak, skimming Patchouli's cheek on the way, and Alice hurried after her, partly out of fear of the breaking mage and of concern for Shanghai. So Marisa was left on her own, and unless she wanted her house-and her-blown up, she had to try convincing Patchouli otherwise!

"Okay, so Alice knows. But she sure isn't going to tell anyone, especially after that event right there."

"Her, and...?" Patchouli wheezed. After that, she quit and focused on breathing for a few moments until she was a bit more stable.

"Huh? What do ya mean?"

Patchy gathered her air and spoke, her right hand on Marisa's collarbone and angry far enough to disintegrate it. "Alice can't be the only one you told."

"I didn't even tell Alice!" Marisa defended. "She stuck her nose in by force, with help from no other than Shanghai!"

"Why don't I believe you...?"

"Look, the only person I told was Reimu!" After one of the mega-rare moments Patchouli's eyes widened, Marisa added with almost blithering speed, "Hey, the general law of secret keeping is the keeper gets one tell! Reimu was my one, and she swore that, and I quote, she 'wouldn't tell a soul, heart, ghost, or youkai!' And that was much more descriptive than my promise, let's face that! If not for Alice being here, it really would only be one-"

"Listen, I'm lucky that I'm understanding you right now," Patchouli interrupted. "But I'm done listening."

"Hey, at least nobody at the Mansion knows-"

"But they will! If you give something infectious any time, it will spread! And that secret is _**viral!**_"

Marisa shrugged, wondering something. "Is writing something like that even that bad? Hell, a few people have gotten famous off it, and something that good is right up there, promise ya!"

Patchouli buried her face in her left hand. "I hardly would like being known at all, let alone for erotica... Why are you so nosy and invasive?! If you never would rob from my Magic Library, all this would never had happened! Did you think I just wouldn't notice the spot was empty with the hatch left open?"

"No, I realized that flaw too little too late. But you were already up, so why risk it?" Marisa scratched her head.

"Nevertheless, you'll have to pay somehow."

Marisa's eyes were the ones to widen then. "What did you have in mind?" she asked nervously.

Then, Patchy got a twinkle in her eye, wondering in a random direction. "I wonder how overworked Sakuya has been... Maybe tomorrow we'll give her a rest." She looked at Marisa, smiling. "Do you see where I'm going?"

Marisa sure had an idea-she just for once wished she were wrong.

* * *

Extra Scene

* * *

The next morning, Marisa had accompanied the main residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but she was in their changing room with everyone else right outside.

"Do I really have to wear this for today?" Marisa called out to the rest.

"Of course!" Remilia said.

"Oh, you'll both be so glad I suggested this," Patchouli laughed.

"I do want to see how it looks on someone else," said Sakuya, who was wearing a rather casual outfit today.

It was then Marisa stepped out, blushing madly, in the maid outfit everyone was so used to seeing on Sakuya, it was a bit strange setting anyone else wear it. However, this didn't mean anything like bad reactions happened. Remilia squealed in laughter, still clapping elegantly despite being the loudest in the room. Sakuya had her arms folded, shaking her head with a smile of near pity on Marisa. And Patchouli laughed to herself, hand to her mouth, sure to get the most from her idea.

"All right, all right, so what's first?" Marisa asked, just wanting to get that day over with.

Sakuya came forward. "No first. You'll just be going through what I do every day."

"I bet you would have it easier if the maid book was still in our library, hmm?" Patchouli nosed.

"I skimmed through a little cause I was bored," Marisa retorted, soon after sticking out her tongue.

Sakuya took Marisa by the shoulder and walked her on her way, Remilia just then winding down her own laughter. "I'll show you the ropes, but just know that it's a pretty hard job around here. First off, the mansion is pretty big, so that's a lot of area already..." Sakuya continued to explain the task at hand until they were far enough away from everyone else, when she said to Marisa four words, which would cement the idea of maid for a day.

"You'll feel for me." Sakuya winked.

- End

* * *

**So, there's my very first fiction. Any sort of feedback that would help me to improve for future ones would be appreciated, and as such, I'd enjoy a bit of critique to that effect. But if you enjoyed it despite my lack of experience, then I got lucky! Either way, hope it was decent.**


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